Living a fantasy
by Jahshasha
Summary: After they return from Rome, Lizzie and Gordo have some things to work out *Updated - the new chapter has acutal dialogue!*
1. Chapter 1 Gordo's POV

Living a fantasy By Jashasha Set after the movie I own nothing, it's all owned by Disney  
  
My name is David Zephyr Gordon, and just two weeks ago, on a rooftop in Rome, Italy, my biggest fantasy came true. No, it wasn't dirty. I may be a 15 year old boy, but my biggest fantasy wasn't dirty. It was beautiful. It was sweet. It was scary as hell.  
  
The thing that they don't tell you in movies, or those stupid romance novels of my mothers that I keep surreptitiously stealing, and reading in privacy in hopes of getting some 'tips' in the romance department (embarrassing, I know, but where else am I going to learn?), is that when your best friend since before you can remember, and your crush for the past few years kisses you, you aren't suddenly cool. You aren't even in the realms of cool, and you aren't suddenly in a relationship.  
  
When Lizzie kissed me, my mind, usually running at a million miles an hour, stopped. The only thoughts that were passing through there resembled 'wow', 'I'm so lucky,' and 'smells good.' They didn't even pass in a coherent order and it ended up coming across as 'smells lucky I'm wow so good.' And I'm lucky, not only because the most beautiful girl I've ever known kissed me, but because I didn't automatically say that as soon as we parted. But I'm unlucky, because I stupid enough to say "Thanks." Who says that after they've been kissed? That's why I read my mother's stupid romance novels, so I know what to say when the girl of my dreams kisses me. Fat lot of good they did.  
  
So I'm standing there, looking at this wonderful girl, who had the guts to kiss me, and it's awkward as hell, because I've just said "thanks." And instead of telling her how I feel, or even kissing her, I wimp out. I am completely and totally spineless. I suggest we go inside, under the guise of wanting to stay out of more trouble. In reality, I was so scared I thought I was going to pee my pants, and that's REALLY not the impression I wanted to make.  
  
And now, she wants to talk about what happened. Sit down, and have a discussion about it. She has to know I like her; I haven't been altogether secretive about that. And she has to like me back, right? I mean, she's kissed me twice. Sure, one time it was on the cheek, but it was in a picture, and Lizzie does care about how everyone sees her, and EVERYBODY saw that. Are we going to get together? Be a couple? Because if that happened, I would be the luckiest boy in the world. Except.  
  
What if it ruined the friendship? What if we broke up and I didn't have my Lizzie anymore, as a friend OR a girlfriend. I'd rather have her as a friend without trying anything, than to loose her completely.  
  
What if it didn't live up to the fantasy?  
  
I've been in love, or in like, or whatever it is, with her for so long, and I've thought up so many scenarios in my head. What if dating Lizzie wasn't what I thought it would be. Right now, I'm only her friend, and I should know her faults, hell, sometimes they get me into trouble, but I still view her as perfect. She's my friend, and I covered for her when she snuck out, and listen to her complain about what to wear, and how to get Ethan to notice her, and she's still my idea of perfection. How stupid am I? She complains about how to get a bone-headed guy like Ethan to like her and I'm still infatuated with her.  
  
But what if, if we dated, she was different. Or I saw her different, or whatever. Or what if she was the same? I have fantasies about Lizzie and I on a date and it's perfect, but I have nightmares, where the date isn't perfect, and she's just the normal Lizzie, still obsession over other guys, or treating me as the best friend. These nightmares usually involve Lizzie seeing me as the backup. The guy she can always trust, and just because I've fallen for her, she'll date me. Use me as practice for other guys or something. I know that Lizzie wouldn't do that, but it's still a fear.  
  
I know I'm not 'hot'. I'm short, and I don't have good hair, and I'm not Ethan Craft. What if that's all Lizzie sees when (if) we go on a date? I know she's not that shallow, but I can't help asking these questions.  
  
I'm over thinking things, but if I know Lizzie McGuire, and I do, she's doing just the same thing at the moment. I do want to date her, and this means I should say something as soon as possible, to avoid her thinking way too much, and talking herself out of this whole thing. If I don't just say something, or do something, she's just going to want to forget the kiss ever happened, and I REALLY don't want that.  
  
So. Now all I have to do is find my best friend in the entire world, and tell her that I've been lying by omission for like, ever, and I want to be with her. Sounds easy.  
  
If you liked it, review, I want to know if people wanna see a Lizzie perspective or whatever 


	2. Chapter 2 Lizzie's POV

Title: Living a fantasy  
  
Author: Jashasha  
  
Disclaimer: Disney owns Lizzie McGuire and all it's characters  
  
Notes: This one is from Lizzie's point of view. I'm not sure I got her character right, but I gave it a try ( ***  
  
Oh-mi-God, oh-mi-God, oh-mi-God! I'm meeting Gordo in half an hour. We've seen each other after the kiss(es) and all, but when I called and asked if we could meet and talk, it was fairly obvious what I wanted to talk about. I told him I needed to talk about our friendship. But now, I want to wimp out. I want to call him up and tell him I'm sick, or Mum needs me at home, or anything, just so that I don't have to have this conversation.  
  
See, this conversation could end badly. It could end in awkwardness with Gordo, and I don't want that, or it could end in a relationship with Gordo, and I don't know if I want that, or it could end in my not being friends with Gordo and that's the thing I don't want the most. That's the thing that scares me the most. Not having Gordo. A world without Gordo. That is the single scariest thought in the world, scarier than giant spiders, and snakes, and the characters in the scary horror movies that I idiotically watch, and then have nightmares about.  
  
But, do I want a relationship with Gordo? I mean, he's totally sweet, and smart, and despite what he thinks, he is really cute, but. do I feel that way. I know I feel different than I did when I was with any other guy, even Ethan or Ronnie or whatever, but is that different just friendship different or what? I know I kissed him, twice, and there has to be a reason for that. The kisses were little, simple, once on the cheek, and once on the mouth, but they were very important. I'm smart enough to know that.  
  
No matter how much we avoid the subject, no matter how many times we ignore any tension, it still happened. Maybe we can just go back to being friends if we do ignore them? Like, when we meet in twenty minutes (oh jeez!) I could just tell him that I don't want that kind of relationship, and he'll agree, and we'll go back to being Just Friends.  
  
Why is there always a JUST in front of that word anyways? Isn't being friends enough? It's worked for me and Gordo so far. We've been good friends, part of the three amigos. Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda, all friends, nothing more, because we don't need anything more.  
  
And what would Miranda think anyway? She'd feel abandoned, that's what. We would no longer be this really tight group of friends, because two of them would have something the other didn't. And she would hate that. I can't be in a relationship with Gordo because Miranda is my other best friend and I can't leave her out. She'd have nobody to turn to. I'll just stick to the other guys who aren't Gordo, and Gordo will find another nice girl who he can date. And we'll all be just (there's that word again) friends.  
  
Only. Gordo with another girl. Gordo kissing another girl. somebody who isn't me. Taking her on dates, and helping her out, and comforting her when she's been hurt, and taking her to Prom. I don't think I like the idea of that. Why does that have to happen? Why can't Gordo like me??!! Oh wait. He does. At least, I think he does.  
  
And I think. and I'm very scared to admit this, even to myself, that I like him. I think those kisses mean that I'm through with all those other guys who weren't as nice, or as smart, or as funny. I'm through with all those other guys who weren't Gordo. Maybe we could have something nice, and it does seem as if he likes me. And I'm really beginning to think I like him. And what if we did ignore the kisses, and he found somebody else. I don't want to wait until it's too late to do something.  
  
But what if Kate lied. Maybe Gordo doesn't like me! Maybe, he's just awkward about those kisses, and he wants to tell me he just wants to be friends. I mean, I'M the one who kissed him, twice, and he didn't do anything about it. Sure, he's smiling in the class photo, but that could be embarrassment. He said THANKS. I kissed him and he said thanks. If he liked me that much, he wouldn't have just said thanks, he would have told me!  
  
Well, that's just stupid, we could have a really good thing here, and he's just ignoring it and wanting to be friends with me! Not going to happen buster! I'm going to tell you how it's going to be, and we're going to try this out and its' going to be good, and you WILL like me. And that's final! ***  
  
Thanks to my reviews, they were really sweet, and please review this chapter. The next part is going to be in third person, when they meet up, and then I just might do a Miranda part, when she 'gets back from Mexico.' It all depends on how the next part works out.  
  
I was also hoping to find a beta reader for this story and any other Lizzie stories. I'd like anybody who is good with English, and has a fair knowledge of the show, for fact checking reasons. Just e-mail me about it if you can. 


	3. Chapter 3 Third Person Narrative

**_AN: In this one we have a third person narrator, and some actual dialogue! Yay! Enjoy!_**

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Lizzie tore apart her wardrobe looking for the perfect outfit. Something that said to Gordo "you like me!" As a result, she was going to be late. She settled on a pink dress that went to the knee, making her look sweet and innocent, and went really well with her hair. Her mother walked into the room, and, noticing the frantic state of her daughter, immediately got suspicious. "I thought you were just going to meet Gordo at the park?"

"I… am… but…"

"Is that Ethan Craft boy going to be there?"

"Ahh… well…"

"Oh sweetie, I've told you a thousand times that any boy who doesn't want you is blind, dumb, and completely insane. Don't stress about what you're going to wear and how you look."

Seeing her exit, she took it, before her Mom asked more questions, "sure Mom, bye." 

She ran out of the house, almost forgetting her shoes, praying that Gordo would wait.

He did, and she ran up to him at the park, breathless, and regretting the fact that she didn't plan out what she was going to say – when she improvised it never seemed to end well. _*It's Gordo, he knows me better than anybody, I should just tell him.*_

"Lizzie…" he began, but seemed at loss for words, so she took the opportunity to speak.

"Listen, Gordo… see, it's just that… well… sometimes friends see each other in certain ways… you know… and the other person doesn't see them in the same way, but the friend wants them to see them differently, and it can happen, you know, people can change opinions about people, like, the way we see each other could completely change, or it could stay the same, and maybe one of us doesn't want that, and so they do something to change it, but the other doesn't really want the change so they try and bring it back when maybe the change was meant to happen because it's like a natural progression thing and friendships change and grow closer and grow apart, you know?"

Gordo was smiling at her. Why was he smiling? This is serious!

"Gordo!? Why are you smiling?! I want a natural progression thing, and you should want it too!"

Gordo watched her, yelling at him, hands on hips, beautiful as anything, and although he had no idea what she was saying, and it was probably just babble, he loved her. It was stupid, but he loved her, and all of her. He loved that she could make him smile, or make a day seem so much brighter, or make as little sense as she was making now. 

Suddenly, what she was saying hit him. 'friends see each other in different ways'… 'the other doesn't really want the change'… 'grow apart.'

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I get what you're saying."

Lizzie studied his face, he was not happy. This was about the time she came to the conclusion that this wasn't such a good idea. "Well… do you have any response to what I'm saying?"

He looked up at her, brown eyes meeting hazel ones, both of which looked like they could shed tears any moment. "It's all cool… being friends is good."

"Right, friends."

"Friends," he affirmed, and after an awkward moment, he stuck his hand out, and they shook on it.

And with that they both turned away.

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**_Don't worry, this isn't going to be one of those stories where they spend the entire time avoiding the situation... keep reading and you'll see them fix up any mix-ups. I'm still looking for a beta reader, e-mail me if you're at all interested, right now, I have another Lizzie story in the makes but I want it to be read over before I post it. _**


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